Right off the top, you mentioned that you and he have agreed to be exclusive.
It’s reasonable to interpret that as meaning you’ve agreed to not date anyone or sleep with anyone else, but I want to ask: when you agreed to be exclusive, how did this come about?
To save everyone confusion though, I think ‘taking the profiles down’ should be talked about outright, likely in the exclusivity conversation, and not something that is just assumed.
Until a couple is exclusive, there’s really nothing wrong with being on a dating site.
And just seeing that someone has been active isn’t necessarily useful information- they could’ve been active for a variety of reasons.
I know I am being sneaky/snoopy by checking up on him to see how often her goes on the site (and he goes on often! It’s not like I’d call this guy my boyfriend already, I know it’s still early… Author’s note: I have expanded the content of this article since it’s original post (as I do from time to time).
w=300&h=255 300w, https://captainawkwarddotcom.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/john-cusack-boombox-58185.png? w=598&h=510 598w, https://captainawkwarddotcom.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/john-cusack-boombox-58185.png? w=150&h=128 150w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /I’m a serially-single female in my mid-20s who has only been in two relationships. We’ve already entered the hairy business of talking about our past failed relationships, our family, our habits etc.
Did you feel you SHOULD continue to date other people because they were still active?How clear was his side of the agreement to being committed?I am asking because I don’t know if this agreement is assumed on your part or if he explicitly said, “Yes, you and I are exclusive…” or, better yet, “I want to be exclusive with you.” I’ll explain why I bring that up in a moment, but at any rate I agree with you that checking his dating profile seems out of step with having an exclusive relationship with you…There are 5 plausible reasons why the guy you’re dating still has an active online dating profile. He’s just looking for casual flings or one-nighter’s. If you’ve developed enough of a rapport with this guy and you’re ready for a relationship, talk to him.Let’s be honest, you have to sift through a lot of online dating profiles to determine who is looking to get laid, versus the ones that truly want a relationship. Some people find it hard to shut down their online dating profile in fear that there could be someone better out there. You can’t expect him to delete his online dating profile immediately until you have developed a rapport. Don’t accuse him of still having his online dating profile active, rather approach the situation from a place where you’re expressing how you feel and what you’re looking for out of the relationship.